Nightmares and Dreams
by LadyJessmyn
Summary: Skyrim Universe, Love, loss, get busy living or get busy dying. Farkas and my Imperial PC. Short story, possible spoilers
1. Chapter 1

The nightmare was always the same. Every night since her abduction on what had started as a simple walk to clear her head. She could still feel the damp chill, hear the screams and pleading of those caught in the Imperial roadblock, as one by one they were put to the executioner's axe. She could smell the blood, and see the lifeless faces. They were all guilty by association. All assumed to have been with the Stormcloaks. It had been months since that dreadful moment, and the nightmares still came.

They were harder now, more frequent, more inclusive. The tension of having to choose sides in this brewing war. Deciding between the Stormcloaks, and the Imperials had warped them into visions of her death for making the wrong choice. But what was the right choice? Ulfric hadn't tried to help her when she was wrapped up in the ambush that captured him. He just stood there silently, accepting his sentence along with everyone else's. _Innocent_ people, not just her, caught up in a crime not their own simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet he stood there, like a large blonde stone statue with no voice. And what of the Imperial army? One man tried to tell the captain she wasn't on the list, but when he was ignored, he did little else. Until the dragon attacked. He helped her escape, she owed him for that. But did she owe the Army allegiance for the action of one man?

The nightmares kept coming. Her parents, believing mistakenly that she was helping the Stormcloaks. She had sent them a message, telling them of the capture. But someone had reached them first. They sent one message in return, calling her traitor, for ignoring her Imperial blood, and siding with the enemy. Her father saying she was no daughter of his, her mother saying she was dead to her, her siblings an older brother and sister following their lead. Further messages trying to explain how wrong they were went unanswered. Had it not been for a lucky conversation that sent her to The Companions, she'd have been alone. An overheard snippet of conversation about the bonds between The Companions. Had she never entered Jorrvaskr, never run errands for that surly, brooding, loudmouthed oaf Vilkas, and earned her place among them, her new family, she wouldn't currently be wrapped in the strong arms of her husband. Now if only she could bring herself to tell him everything.

Farkas was the best thing to happen to Jessa since her world was turned upside down. He exuded a calmness, a quiet strength, and soothing anchor for her to cling to when her own strength failed her. On one of her training assignments with The Companions, the final test, Farkas was her shield brother. It was then that he had captured her heart. Unlike so many other men, He didn't jump to her rescue at every battle. He didn't treat her as a fragile flower, he let her fight, beside him. He trusted her to fight her own battles, and ask if she needed aid. He wasn't like his twin at all. He was soft spoken, quiet, and intuitive, and as she found out, had a lovely dry wit. He was humble, and often thought of himself as others had, as the less intelligent of the brothers. He was very much like her. She had somehow managed to lock herself in an old cell that day. Much to her chagrin. When Farkas saw what she'd done, she was waiting for the chastising to begin. Instead, he put his hands on his hips, and said "Now look at the trouble you've gotten yourself into" then he grinned, his eyes warm and mirthful as he looked for a way to get her out. Jessa blushed, and sheepishly grinned back. It was then, that their first secrets were shared.

Dozens of Silver Hand members came from every direction surrounding Farkas. Jessa began to panic, worrying her actions were about to get her shield brother killed. Before she could find a way to help, Farkas transformed before her eyes, into the largest werewolf she had ever seen, wiping out every single one of the Silver Hand. He ran off to find the lever to her cage, and came back in human form once more. She thought she had imagined the whole thing until he shyly said "I hope I didn't scare you" Jessa just smiled, placed a hand on his arm, and said "Oh, no. You wait until you see what I can do. Of course we'd need a dragon..." Farkas chuckled, and replied "As long as it doesn't involve spiders." Something passed between them when they touched, the eye contact lasting longer than it should have between shield brother and sister.

It was another tragedy that brought them together past soft glances, shy smiles, and subtle flirtations. Kodlak's death showed them all how short life could be. How quickly it could be taken. They were laying Kodlak to rest, she had chosen to wear her Amulet of Mara, a wordless statement that spoke of her desire to wed. As they stood together after the ceremony Farkas noticed it.

"Is that an amulet of Mara?" He asked.

"It is" Jessa shyly smiled

"So you wish to _marry_ then?" was his next question, looking, for the first time, a bit unsure and nervous.

"Why? Are you interested?" It was her turn to be nervous now.

Farkas grinned, "Not going to lie, I am. You?"

"Not going to lie, I am" was the breathless reply.

"Well it's about damned time the two of you quit pussyfooting around!" laughed Vilkas

All of The Companions attended the ceremony. All her new family, and friends. All wished the newlyweds well, including that oaf Vilkas, a loving term now for her brother-in-law.

The nightmares still come, but they are mixed now with pleasant dreams. And she is no longer alone. As strong arms pull her closer, and loving inquisitive eyes look into hers, she finally tells him everything that brought her here, the choice she is struggling to make, as two sides wish to make use of her talents, and newly discovered power. Farkas, with the wisdom of a sage, puts his hand over her heart, and says "listen to _this_, it will never lead you the wrong way". And she had to agree. It had, after all, led her to him


	2. Chapter 2

The dragon had been trapped at Dragon's Reach. The plan worked flawlessly. Vignar wouldn't admit it, but it was a thing to be proud of. The Stormcloaks and onlookers entered the castle to celebrate, while Jessa remained outside talking to the beast. Ohdaviing it's name was. Farkas stood watching, ready to sink the axe, Wuuthra into the thing's skull if it tried anything. He couldn't understand how she could be so relaxed, standing within a couple feet of that fang filled muzzle, let alone calmly and patiently have a discussion with it. But that was Jessa. Always calm, always patient, always listening. He didn't like what he was hearing at all. How could she be considering setting this thing free, let alone letting it take her anywhere? How could she consider entering Sovngarde, people don't return from there. His chest tightened at the thought of losing her, breathing was difficult past the panic rising, he had to get out of there.

He headed to Jorrvaskr, to his old quarters for a drink. As he entered, Vilkas greeted him, with a smart comment about trouble in paradise. One look at his face, and he stopped. Something was wrong with Farkas, and it was not the time. As Farkas continued past him, seemingly weighed down by the weight of the world, Vilkas exchanged troubled looks with Aela.

"I warned her not to hurt him. I told her he could take care of himself in battle, but his heart…what has she  
>done?" He began ranting.<p>

"Settle yourself Vilkas, you've seen them together, you know she wouldn't hurt him, she'd die first" Aela  
>responded, a hand on his shoulder, and a soft smile on her lips.<p>

"And how can you be so sure of that oh wise huntress?" He asked

"Because _I_ would die before I hurt the one I love" she answered

Vilkas relaxed a bit. He squeezed Aela's hand and smiled back as he went to follow his brother. He found Farkas sitting outside the Harbinger's room, head in his hands. He took a seat at the other side of the table and grabbed a bottle of mead, and waited. You don't push Farkas to talk, you wait for Farkas to talk. The wait wasn't long. Farkas explained everything that had transpired with regards to Jessa's Dragonborn status. What it meant, what she had to do, and what had transpired at Dragon's Reach that day.

"She's going without me. We've battled together for months, and she's going without me." He said quietly.

"Going where?"

"Sovngarde, to face Alduin, alone. Alone! I can't go with her, I can't help her, I can't protect her." He sighed,  
>shoulders slumping more under the worry.<p>

"She won't be alone, Brother. Kodlak is there, our heroes of old are there. You must have faith, in them, in her."  
>Vilkas told him, hoping he sounded more convinced than he felt.<p>

"People don't come back from Sovngarde Brother, we know this. We haven't had enough time, I'm not ready to lose  
>her…"<p>

"You won't lose me, love"

Both brothers looked up, to find Jessa had entered quietly. Vilkas stood, gave Farkas a reassuring pat on the shoulder and walked toward his sister-in-law. He squeezed her hand, and said

"I think he needs you more than me, I'll see that you aren't disturbed"

She smiled gratefully. She heard to lock slide into place as he left the barracks area. Farkas stood as she approached him, meeting her halfway and wrapping her in his arms, holding her as if he would never let her go. They stood that way for a long time, before Jessa broke the silence.

"When I escaped Helgen, all I wanted was to get away, get to safety, and I came here. I found you. All I still  
>want is just to live, like normal folk live. I didn't want to be Dovahkiin, but I am, I can't escape that. I have<br>to do this, this war has to end, and to do that Alduin must be defeated..." She pulled back, far enough to look  
>into his eyes, and place her hand on his cheek.<p>

"I promise you, I will be back, if I have to shout down the walls of Sovngarde itself and everyone in it, I'll  
>come back to you. We will have the life we want, the life we deserve."<p>

Farkas bent down to get his arms around her waist, when he straightened he brought her up with him, bringing them face to face. She wrapped both arms around his neck and leaned her forehead to his.

"Then I guess I better give you plenty of inspiration to take into battle with you" he replied, voice heavy with  
>the emotions that were threatening to wash him away, as their lips met and he carried her into their quarters.<p>

The months passed slowly. Farkas kept busy with the shop and The Companions between messages from his wife. Stories of Anduin's defeat were on everyone's lips and in every bard's song. Stories of Ulfric's wins with the Dragon Born at his side were almost as popular. Rumor had it a great red dragon had been seen fighting with them against Tullius in Solitude. When the final message finally arrived, Farkas smiled, and said goodybye to his brother, and his shield mates. Jessa had found them a home in Solitude, and was waiting for him there.

When he arrived, she met him at the door, a smile on her face and a flush in her cheeks, as he embraced his wife after months apart he noticed something felt…different. When they drew back, his breath caught in his throat as he looked down at her. She was wearing a simple green dress, and there was a small but noticeable rounding of her belly. He placed a large hand upon it and asked

"Are you…are we…" he started, unable to get the sentence out

"Yes love, you certainly sent inspiration with me when we parted" She smiled.

With a whoop half of Solitude likely heard, he lifted Jessa into his arms and spun her around. Jessa leaned in and caught his lips with hers, a contended sigh escaping. All of her accomplishments and adventures had rewarded her with the thing she wanted most. Life. Their life, with her own family.


End file.
